PLAYTIME
The 50s & 60s - - now those were the days . . . .
4:47 PM, May 6, 2008
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Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,
We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.
We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.
;
We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.
We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co - star was a chimp.
We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T ,
And Oprah couldn't talk, yet, in the Land That Made Me Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named
And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy- free,
And dorms were never coed in the Land That Made Me Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.
And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me Me.
Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.
And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me Me.
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill.
And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me Me.
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me Me.
So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me Me.
Marvin and Randy
9:25 PM, April 2, 2008
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Animals Get Drunk To
10:36 PM, March 26, 2008
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Cows With Guns
6:41 PM, March 24, 2008
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Cows With Guns
by Dana Lyons by Dana Lyons, copyright 1996 Intro ------ Am G Am AmFat and docile, big and dumb They look so stupid, they aren't much fun GCows aren't Amfun They eat to grow, grow to die Die to be et at the hamburger fry Cows well done Nobody thunk it, nobody knew No one imagined the great cow guru Cows are one He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal Cow Tse Tongue He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd Cow doldrums He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high Bad cow pun But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate Cows are bummed He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy No one suspected he was packing an Uzi Cows with guns They came with a needle to stick in his thigh He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye Cow well hung Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor Run cows run! He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay We are free roving bovines, we run free today We will Ffight for bovine Cfreedom And Ehold our large heads Amhigh We will Frun free with the CBuffalo, or Edie Cows with [Am]guns They crashed the gate in a great stampede Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed Cows have fun Sixty police cars were piled in a heap Covered in cow pies, covered up deep Much cow dung Black smoke rising, darkening the day Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns The President said "enough is enough These uppity cattle, its time to get tough" Cow dung flung The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef Cows on buns The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay Cows out gunned The order was given to turn cows to whoppers Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns |
All women should have one of these skirts.
1:07 PM, March 24, 2008
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Test Pilot
12:39 PM, March 24, 2008
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HEROES AND ZEROES
11:58 PM, February 20, 2008
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Once there were two guys who liked the saying heroes and zeros.
They liked to play card games and they liked to play the ten.
Sometimes it made them heroes and sometimes it made them zeros.
They were always ready for another round even if you put them down.
Sometimes they had a lot of zeros; But would come back to be the heroes.
Mary Baney
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The 50s & 60s - - now those were the days . . . .Marvin and Randy
Animals Get Drunk To
Cows With Guns
All women should have one of these skirts.